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July 12, 2012
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Yes. That's true.
All the people who know me a little longer might have suspected it from my signature.

My body is female, but my mind and my heart say no, no you're a boy, not a girl. And they are right.
I am transsexual and that means I am a boy, trapped in a girl's body.  

Sometimes I try to behave like a 'real girl', as my parents call it but every time I put make-up on or wear a dress I feel like a drag queen. But my parents often say:
"What's up with you? You're a pretty girl, why do you want to be a boy?" or they get annoyed and tell me I have to behave like 'what I really am'. But when I behave the way I feel, it's wrong in their eyes. They don't understand me and they don't know how much their words hurt me.

I've cut my hair short when I discovered what I really am and bind my chest.
– Sometimes it really hurts and I can not even really breathe.
But when I talk to strangers who have never ever seen me before and they say I'm 'a really nice guy' I feel good. That's what I am on the inside.

Being trans* changed nothing in my affection for both sexes. In fact I actually am in love with a girl but actually I am too shy to tell her.


No hating or flaming on this, please. Remember I am still a human being with emotions.
  • Listening to: David Bowie - Rebel Rebel
  • Drinking: coffee
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:iconmilannikolapetrovic:
MilanNikolaPetrovic Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Professional Photographer
If it makes you happy, it's cool. :)
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:icondragony234:
Dragony234 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Hi! I've found you over your ff.de profile, but I'll just keep writing in English, 'cause that's what feels more natural to me!

I'm pretty sure that I'm not trans, but I sometimes feel asexual, or even aromatic (or maybe I'm just too bloody young in my emotional age), but I feel very... impressed isn't really the right word, but it'll have to do. I feel very impressed that you can admit it so openly. I really, really hope you can go and see a psychologist - at least for me, talking to mine is the best thing that I can do. (Ich bin in "Behandlung" wegen Hochbegabung, aber ich kann mit meiner Psychologin alles mögliche bereden)

It should also help you - if you can find the right one - to get a "thicker skin" towards insults/people who can't understand you.

I wish you all the best, Alex, for your future, and a great lot of courage!
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:iconcolubridcola:
ColubridCola Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for telling the world. You are a brave and beautiful person.
I have always understood why a person would want to be the other gender and I do believe that a person can be born into this world with the soul of a man but be put into a woman's body and vice versa.
A lot of the men (or should I say actors, because I have never liked any non-actor that I've met) that I love are Bi-sexual or denying it.
And that makes my parents very mad.
My dad is one of the biggest homophobes that I have ever seen. My Mom is old fashioned and just doesn't believe that it's a right way to live.
Let me tell you, whatever you feel is true, is true. If you are attracted to girls, then that is what is right. There is no sin in love.
I wear dresses but I sure ain't no frilly thang. I kind of remind myself of Princess Fiona without the effeminate stuff, lol. I laugh loud and deeply. I am big and strong. I am...well, hairy. I am who I am and there isn't anything that society can do about it.

If that drawing on your ID is you, you are a handsome man, baby :heart:

As long as it's okay with you, I can call you by "Him", "His" and masculine terms. I love that you are who you are. You are beautiful :heart:
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:iconbowiegirl95:
BowieGirl95 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your parents will accept you for who you are in time. Do not worry about it. You will find people in time who will accept you and love you for who you are :)
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:iconsonnenblume1996:
Sonnenblume1996 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Ehrlich? Irgendwie kam das jetzt sehr überraschend :confused:
Sicher hab ich mitbekommen, dass du deine Haare oft kurz trugst und ich dich selten (oder gar nicht?) in "weiblich figurbetonten" Sachen gesehen habe.
Aber solche Schlüsse habe ich nie gezogen - vielleicht, weil ich es nicht mag, Leute nach ihren äußerlichen Merkmalen zu beurteilen...
Wobei sich diese Tatsache definitiv nicht auf meine Meinung über dich auswirken wird :aww:

Und was deine Gefühle angeht: Ich kann dich sehr gut verstehen. Den Mut zu finden ist verdammt schwer. Jedoch muss ich auch dazu sagen, dass man sich echt besser fühlt, wenn man "klarheit geschafft hat".
Wir müssen uns in den Ferien mal wieder sehen. Wie siehts eigentlich mit Halloween aus?
Fühl dich ganz doll gedrückt :hug: :huggle:
Reply
:iconalektra007:
Alektra007 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh danke, Josi! :hug:
Ich kann mir gut vorstellen, dass du ganz schön bedröppelt gekuckt hast, als du das Journal gelesen hast. Meine Eltern dachten auch erst, ich mache Witze. Dabei hätten gerade die eigentlich merken müssen, dass ich mich verändert habe. Von wegen, wie von dir richtig bemerkt, die kuren Haare und Tendenz zur Jeans-Männershirt-Fraktion. Zumindest Ma ist aber her davon überzeugt, dass ich lesbisch mit Tendenz zur "Butch" bin. Das ist allerdings ein Untersschied...
Dumm ist halt, dass es in der Nähe keine Psychologen gibt, die mir ein Gutachten ausstellen können, was mich zur Einnahme von Testo berechtigt. - Erfurt bzw Greiz sind halt ganz schön weit weg... das ist aber ein anderes Blatt.

Trotzdem danke für dein Verständnis. Nicht jeder, der mich persönlich kennt hat so cool reagiert. Und was das Treffen betrifft (hurr hurr, wat für'n Deutsch): In den Ferien weiß ich nicht, wann ich nochmal nach Jena komme. Das entscheidet sich immer sehr kurzfristig. An Halloween bin ich aber frei und daheim. Mal sehen, ob ich Ma überreden kann, dass ich dann nach Jena fahren darf.
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:iconsonnenblume1996:
Sonnenblume1996 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Wieso zu Halloween nach Jena?
Da lästs sich so schlecht um die Häuser ziehn & nach süßem betteln ;)
Mit etwas Glück hab ich bis dahin meine Gewandung fertig und komme als Untote Bogenschützin :'D
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:iconcopperkid3:
copperkid3 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You should be so proud of yourself!! Living life the way you want to live!! Congrats! Don't let anyone bring you down! You know in your heart you were meant to be male, so why shouldn't you be allowed to live that way ? Keep on shining!
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:iconalektra007:
Alektra007 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Living the way I want to live isn't easy, 'cuz there are a lot of rocks laying on my way. But because of this I will always hed my head up high.
Thank you so much for your support, Kaylie!
Reply
:iconcopperkid3:
copperkid3 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Any time! :D
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